I have the pleasure of working with an absolutely lovely lady. She was pregnant with her first child when I was expecting my second so we had lots to talk about and share. She is due any day now with her second child – a girl. As usual, decisions over type of delivery, family support, time off work etc. have been priorities – and for most us, enough to cope with!
However, her sister-in-law is also in urgent need of a kidney. Just 33 years old, Premila suffers from Systemic Lupus Erythamatosis and currently both her kidneys have failed. Premila is amazing, but I can’t help also thinking about my friend who has all the normal growing family challenges and things to think about, but also the worry of a close member of her family being in need. That puts my daily worries into perspective.
If you can help my friend and Premila with their kidney appeal – even if by just sharing the link to her story, I would be eternally grateful. I’m hoping we can put some of our collective mum network and support to amazing use!
Premila is looking for a kidney donor compatible with blood group O or A.
To read Premila’s story and to find out more about kidney donation visit her website.
Worrying about how my two year old was going to react to the new addition to the family ranked highly in the lead up to the new arrival. I had been given the top tip of giving a present to my child ‘from’ the baby at their first meeting. I’m fairly sure that the fire truck with sirens and ladder that our newborn gave his older sibling helped a great deal in terms of first impressions and would highly recommend this approach to any expectant mum with existing children.
I was so relieved when my child seemed to take well to the newborn – cuddles, kisses and shaking their hand. It’s also lovely to see them ‘protect’ their young sibling from others. However, children are people with emotions, having good days and bad like any of us. Added to that are the floods of hormones racing through their fast-growing bodies, as well as lots of new things they have to face and absorb on a minute by minute basis – everything from words to mastering motor skills.
It’s no surprise then that even the most loving sibling will feel jealousy at no longer being the sole focus of their parents and having to share time, energy and cuddles with another. For mothers that are breastfeeding, this can be an even greater issue as a hungry newborn wants to feed as much as possible and creates a physical barrier for the other child in terms of access to their mum.
This is a challenge I’m facing myself and I think will be one to learn on the job. No matter how many books you read, every child is different, emotions vary and everything from how much sleep the children have had through to the food they’ve eaten will have an impact.
Please do share any top tips you have found that have worked – it’s great to have a range of approaches to try!
It’s hard to know whether you get more anxious waiting for your first child or the second/third/fourth.
With the first, there is the fear of the unknown. If you are anything like me your vivid imagination can take over, especially when it comes to the actual birth. On the flip side, you have the time to read all the books, attend all the classes and talk to friends and family about the upcoming event.
With the second (or more) baby, you’ve already had a birth experience – whether good, bad or somewhere in between – so you have some preconceptions (for better or worse). You can only hope that things are a bit easier the next time around as your body has been through the process before. The downside is that you are probably kept quite busy looking after your existing children and don’t get the chance to refresh your memory about the birth process, things to prepare for, things not to worry about.
Key points to remember are:
– Few births go exactly to plan (we may all have a ‘wish list’ which we dutifully write up in our antenatal records, but in most cases you have to go with the flow as each delivery, baby and mother is different – as are the consultants and environments affecting events).
– Everyone has an opinion. The majority of people mean well. Some speak from experience, but sometimes this can be clouded by time so it’s important not to take everything to heart.
Above all, it’s important to ensure you think about what’s right or important for you and use that as your guideline. The experts will step in as / when required.
It’s an exciting, if slightly daunting time. But if you’re expecting number two (or more) then you know the many benefits to be had once you have the new addition to the family.